051 The Story of Zeus, Io, and Hera (Plus a Dude with 100 eyes)

On this 51st post of Moments in Greek Mythology, I decide for my birthday I would give you my gift for all my readers (yes all 12 of you) the Story of Io and Zeus. And what do you know? It involves kidnapping, rape, transformation, and murder; Jesus how many of these stories did the Greeks tell their kids about?

Sorry honey, you have to take a hit for the team, if you don't go out with the giant thunder god, he will burn down Argos

There was once a maiden named Io, a priestess of Hera, who had disturbing dreams. Through them she learned Zeus
wished to deprive her of her virginity. In time, Io told her father,
Inachus, who consulted the oracle. Told by the oracle that the king of
the gods would show his wrath if not satisfied, Inachus forced his
daughter Io to leave his protection.
Zeus found Io wandering alone and aimlessly soon thereafter. Nor did it
take Hera long to locate her errant priestess. Seeing his wife coming,
Zeus turned Io into the first cow.

I wasn't doing anything, I mean it's a cow what kind of perverted depraved god would have sex with a cow

Hera, who herself would be known for white arms and bovine eyes, took a
fancy to the beast and with more than a drop of suspicion in her veins,
insisted her husband give her the animal for a gift. What else could Zeus do? The hapless philanderer wasn't so much
concerned with being caught in a lie as his precarious marital harmony,
so he acceded to his wife's wishes. (Yes Zeus had some sense of honor)

Keep an eye on her (YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!)

Hera tethered Io to the olive-tree in the temenos of her cult-site, the Heraion, and placed her in the charge of many-eyed Argus Panoptes to keep her separated from Zeus. So how was Zeus supposed to get Io out Hera's cruel trap, well that's where Hermes comes into the picture, because he was ordered by Zeus to slay the loyal guard of Hera. Now Argus was a pretty good guard because he could sleep and still do his job. How you ask? He had 100 eyes all over his body, that's why, and he slept with 50 eyes closed and the other eyes open. So how could Hermes kill something that was always awake, boring him of course!

God damn that is boring story

First Hermes tried music to lull the monster to sleep. He played on the
pipes his son, Pan, had created from the reedy remains of his lost love,
the nymph Syrinx. Many of the eyes closed, but -- unfortunately for
Argus -- not all simultaneously. Hermes stopped
playing music and began to talk and talk monotonously. The talk was nowhere
near as enjoyable to Argus and he soon found himself bored as Hermes droned on.
All of Hermes talk would lull Argus to sleep. Once the last eye had shut on
Argus, Hermes struck Argus, killing him in his slumber. Hermes then released Io, but not before Hera caught wind of this and sent an angry gadfly to pursue Io all over the Mediterranean. (Guess that explains why there is an Ioian Sea) Hera then looked at the corpse of her loyal guard Argus, so in order to honor him, she took all his eyes and placed them onto the feathers of her sacred bird, the Peacock. Now what else is there in store for Io, well I let us conclude this tale today and finish the story next week!