Huzzah my 50th blog post!
Oh Zeus, you Casanova, what is with you and raping women and boys in weird ways? It's genius if you think about it, the Greeks seemed to know that if their gods were basically all powerful beings that acted human, then they would probably be absolutely drunk and corrupted with ultimate power. And since Zeus was king of the gods, he would be the most corrupt and decadent of them all. He is like Caligula turned up to te- no eleven and is all powerful. This still doesn't explain why he has such eccentric fetishes, but I guess the Greeks have a weird sense of humor or were sick perverts. Anyway this story has some connections to the Trojan War as it is the story of Helen's mom and how she got pregnant after getting the royal treatment by the Sultan of Smut, the Godly gigolo, the Regent of Rapists, ladies and gentleman all bow down to your lustful lord; Zeus! *70's dating game show theme begins to play*
So tomorrow I'll be fuc- I mean looking over the women of Sparta
Making his usual rounds in the search for some prime pussy, our hero protagonist dude caught in his sights the beautiful queen of Sparta, Leda. Being the horndog that he is, Zeus wanted to have sex with the wife of king Tyndareus. But how? Well I like to think that Zeus spun his wheel of fetish to decide in what way would he have his way with her. In this hypothetical scenario, the pointer landed on Zeus' favorite fetish, transformation. Tired of turning into a bull and getting some that way, Zeus decided to something different, he was going to turn avian for this chick.
Well I guess she was into this kind of stuff because she doesn't seem that distressed
So Zeus turned himself into a swan and swooped down to Sparta pretending to be pursued by an eagle (subtle symbolism there Zeus). He fell into her arms for protection, but the night was about to get freaky. That's because they had a threesome with Leda, Zeus swan, and TYNDAREUS!!!! That's right, Leda's husband thought it was alright to have a swan have sex with his wife before he got in the action. What the fuck is wrong with you man!
Two babies for each egg? I don't think it works that way (though this is the story of a woman having a threesome with her husband and a divine swan)
The result of this coupling was Leda laying two eggs (biology has no place in Greek Mythology). And hatching from these eggs were Clytemnestra (aka the bitch), Helen (aka the pretty girl) and the Gemini, Castor and Pollux (aka the twin brothers) Only one of the twins and Helen were the true offspring of Zeus while the other two were the offspring of the mortal Tyndareus. And so ends the weird and incredibly fucked up story of Zeus and Leda and Tyndareus (you sick fuck)
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