Epic Metal Time

037 Ixion barks up the wrong tree

Like the tale of Tantalus from a couple of weeks ago, this is also a tale of a King who also was invited to a party in Olympus and did something so stupid and boorish that he was condemned to Tartarus for eternal damnation. First, we must look at our titular character and see what he did before he would go to that faithful party and met with his destiny of never ending torment and punishment.

Epic Metal Time

Epic Metal Time

Epic Metal Time

Epic Metal Time

Random Artwork by me

"Trouble"

Epic Rocking

036 Bellerophon Slays the Chimera

You know last time we were talking about Glaucus and Diomedes, I realized that I have not told the famous tale of Bellerophon slaying the Chimera, so here it is. 

The best pic of Bellerophon that Google could give me

035 Diomedes vs Glaucus (the fight that was not to be)

Today I look at this story that occurred in most famous war of them, the Trojan War. Ah yes the Trojan War, a war caused by the lust of Paris, prince of Troy and total loser. We all the know the story with the apple and the judgement of Paris and blah blah etc etc (even though none of this is shown in the Iliad) But here is a little tale that was written down in the translations of Homer's words, a story of two men: One Achaean (Greek) and the other an ally of Troy, who met, almost fought, but realized something intertwining both their families.

034 Tantalus eats his last meal

Aw yes cannibalism, it is in many of the tales of the Ancient Greeks, from Cronus to giant Laestrygonians, the Greeks liked to talk about cannibalism and human sacrifice. However, it was not because they condoned it, far from it they saw these acts as the most gruesome and barbaric that a mortal could do; so they made up these stories that showed what terrible things would happen to a person if he committed these acts. Thus we get to  today's tale, the story of a jackass king who thought he could trick the gods with a special meal, only to be punished for his deeds. This my friends is the tale of Tantalus.

033 The Great Calydonian Boar Hunt

Yes I am finally done with Heracles and his twelve tasks, but there still many stories that have yet to be told in my trademarked sense of humor. (If any of you even dare write rival mythology blogs, I will sue your ass!) One of these stories was the tale of the Great Calydonian Boar Hunt, which had an ensemble of heroes that would rival the Argonauts and the Expendables. Now I'll be using the Ovid retelling since that one is the easiest to write about.

032 Labors of Heracles (Part 12)

Well we did it, we have finally reached the end of our journey, this is it, the twelfth and final task that Heracles would have to face if he would ever want to be forgiven for the murder of his family. Let's go over the last eleven tasks.

Epic Manowar Time

031 Labors of Heracles (Part 11)

We are near the home stretch as we come across the second to last task that Heracles would have to face to gain penance for the murder of his family. This, along with the next task, would be among the hardest challenges that he would have to overcome. Eurystheus requested to Heracles to give him the golden apples of Hesperides, the immaculate garden where Atlas burdened the heavens on his shoulders.

030 Labors of Heracles (Part 10)

Read my blog or face the wrath of the Dark Avenger!

Epic Manowar Time

029 Labors of Heracles (Part 9)

*Before I begin I have a very long and probably meaningless introduction

After 29 blogs of me poking fun and informing the uncountable number of guys and gals reading (I mean that literally since there is no more hit detector here anymore T-T) I have been depressed by the lack of feedback by you faithful readers. I know some of you might want me a video series, but we know how that all went.

028 Labors of Heracles (Part 8)

In this blog of MIGM, I continue to recall the 12 "Impossible acts" committed by the favorite bastard son of Zeus. After capturing the Cretan Bull, Heracles was given his next task by Eurystheus, to steal the 4 mares of Diomedes. This was not; however, the Diomedes of Iliad fame, but the giant bloodthirsty king of Thrace, a primitive and barbaric region north of Macedon. And true to their cruel master's nature, his horses: Podagros (the fast) Lampon (the shinning) Xanthos (the blond) and Deinos (the terrible) were not your average horses, for they were carnivorous and particularly loved the flesh of humans. (Though they were not the weirdest of horses in mythology that would be Sleipnir)

Epic Metal Time

027 Labors of Heracles (Part 7)

Now that Heracles had slain the swarms of Stymphalian Birds, Eurystheus sent Heracles on his next task, capture the Cretan Bull. Now if you know anything about the Cretan Bull, it was the same bull that King Minos' wife Pasiphae sired and the father of the abomination that  was the Minotaur. Now it was running amok across the plains of Crete. Heracles began thus began his journey south to the island of Zeus.

026 Labors of Heracles (Part 6)

Now we have reached the half way mark between Heracles' now 12 Labors. Now Eurystheus sent Heracles to Arcadia to kill an infestion of birds, only these birds were giant, bronze beaked, metallic feathered, man eating birds that had toxic dung! They resided in Lake Stymphalia and thus were dubbed the Stymphalian Birds. So Heracles strung his bow and began his journey to the once fertile lake.

025 Labors of Heracles (Part 5)

So let us recap the past four tasks that Heracles had to complete up to this point.

1. Slay the Nemean Lion

2. Slay the Lernaean  Hydra

3. Capture the Golden Hind of Artemis

4. Capture the Erymanthian Boar

Poems by Tolbart

 An Ode to Failure

024 Labors of Heracles (Part 4)

Today I continue my epic look at Heracles 12 tasks. After capturing the Ceryneian Hind and subsequently releasing it right in the face of Eurystheus, Heracles was tasked to capture the Erymanthian Boar, a ferocious beast that killed Adonis (lover of Aphrodite) that lived on Mount Erymanthos. So with his mission given Heracles began his trek for the Boar.