Oh Zeus what has not been said about the guy. He is the not only the god of gods and man, but also apparently the god of rape and adultery. Zeus is ultimately an immortal horny teenager, having sex with any woman or nymph that his lusty eyes lock onto. Now I want to tell the tale of how Zeus seduced his wife, whom he would betray again and again, into marrying him. Enjoy.
For some reason Disney didn't hide the fact that Zeus and Hera were sister and brother.
Now after Zeus had overthrown Kronos and the world was divided among the big three (Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades). Zeus started to get lustful looks at his sister Hera (Because the mantra of the Greek Pantheon is: "We can fuck anyone, even our siblings") At first Zeus asked Hera out, but she rejected him and it was then time for Zeus to get created.
So for all you rejected bachelors out, take my advice, chicks dig cuckoo birds
Zeus then thought of a clever ruse, he turned himself into a tiny cuckoo bird, and then created a storm near Hera and flew into it looking all distressed as Hera gasped in horror and "saved" the "poor" cuckoo bird. Seeing it wet, Hera wanted to dry it off, but since there were apparently no towels on Olympus, she improved and stuffed the cuckoo bird down in her bosom. It was at this moment that Zeus struck, he turned back to normal and raped his sister. Because of this Hera married Zeus out of the shame of his deed.
Damn I'm good
You want to know the kicker though? After all the trouble that Zeus went into getting jiggy with his future wife, he loses interest with her fairly quickly and starts to look towards other women and nymphs which we'll get into (Hiyoo!) in the future.
Damn it, Hera I'm trying to stalk!
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